Moment of Clarity
I had a wonderful moment of clarity this weekend. A new year, a new beginning, yet all I could think about was that for the first time in nearly four years, I wasn’t going to be involved in VCN. The once familiar was now alien, the comforting discomforting. Too many lonely moments feeling displaced, ostracized and abandoned.
But I made that decision and chose to bear that for myself. I stood on the crossroads I paved and walked blindly. I wanted to dance. I wanted to come back to Samahang Modern. I wanted to improve, I wanted to grow, I wanted to believe. I wanted more.
And I still want more. 2nd Place at Showdown was amazing, but it was the performance that almost brought me to tears. The hard work, the hours of practice, the sighs of disappointment and the grunts of frustration led to a bond grown stronger.
“2nd place…Samahang Modern!” Mayhem. We were in shock. We rushed the stage and only then did we realized what had happened. Everyone around us was jumping around, hugs and screams of disbelief. And in that moment all I wanted to do was cry.
Tears for my team, and the hard work we all put in and the humble hearts in which we received our placement. Tears for Michelle, for the sacrifices and hardship I put the purest dancer I know through. Tears for Leadership, who sacrificed so much of their hearts, minds and bodies to bring us to this point. And tears for the once-was, the forever-lost, the family I had lost.
Yet at the end of it all, they all equated to one thing—-this beautiful thing called dance. I had lost a family but strengthened another. I had lost confidence but found it again. The emotional rhythm will always be there. I may soon lose another family, and these petty words regurgitated may end up lost in the chaotic ether of my life. But this feeling, this passion for something, anything will never leave me. That, surely, is clear.
